So since my last posting, I've wondered, "did I reveal too much?" Unfortunately I can't tell who's reading this blog, only who leaves comments. Sure I only got one comment (thanks YFNS). But hundreds (okay, dozens. okay, a couple) of people could have read it.
Homemaker aspirations aren't exactly high on the list of desirable attributes in the dating world, these days. I think most men my age fear the once traditional gender role of breadwinner and family provider. Who can blame them? It's a a cold, cruel, ridiculously expensive world out there. Who wants all that pressure on your shoulders?
Then there is the gold digger stereotype. No man wants some shamelessly selfish chick chillin spending his hard earned money on mani & pedis all the while contributing nothing to the household. I'm not a gold digger. I adamantly believe in each person contributing to the health and wealth of a household.
It also doesn't mean that I have no desire to have a meaningful career. I've just set having a family as my top priority. So, I'm a bit of a traditionalist. I'm not apologetic, only contemplative.
That's really the point of my blog, it's my forum for contemplating. There are a lot of thoughts and questions rolling around in my head and they need an outlet. I can't afford a therapist so this free blog will have to do.
But am I creating my own bad press? I am single and looking. My intention was not to try to meet someone through a blog. I'd rather meet someone the old fashioned way, Match.com! But, what if Mr. Maybe stumbles upon this blog and is turned off by what turns me on? Well, it never would have worked anyway. I don't want a guy who worries about what's fashionable or socially desirable at the moment. I want the eligible gent who happens by my blog and thinks "I like her style."
In the meantime, I have to keep being me. That means saying whatever pops into my head, popular or not.
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4 comments:
First off, let me pass on to you what was passed on to me by The Girl From Park Heights during my early blogging days. It's a little service called Google Analytics. What it does is track who visits your site. It tracks ALL kinds of ish, the number of people, what city/state they're in, how often they visit, tons of stuff and it's all FREE.
Once you install it you'll find yourself checking it every morning for awhile though (it updates once a day around 3 am.)
As far as your post, I don't think you sold yourself short in any way. You were being genuine and true to yourself, nothing more anyone could ask. There's nothing wrong with your dreams, as long as you know them and have a backup for them just in case like you do.
Keep on pluggin away, girl. You'll find that Mr. Right.
As far as blogging for therapy, it's wonderful,
Btw, the minute Match.com is considered "old fashioned" we're all in trouble.
Well, I, for one, think your last post was very eloquently stated, and if there were any doubts about the kind of marriage you want, you cleared them up in this one.
I'm not male, but I think what most men fear is "some shamelessly selfish chick chillin spending his hard earned money on mani & pedis all the while contributing nothing to the household." They know that homemaking is something of a dying art that most women aren't prepared or willing to do, so they assume that women who stay at home are going to sit around all day catching up on their favorite soaps till the kids get off the bus.
I think there are a number of traditional men who would be happy to have a wife who either wanted to really manage the household full-time or work reduced hours to spend more time with the kids. If you have the skills of a homemaker, don't be afraid to show them off to your potential "candidates." I've heard men express surprise and admiration when a woman can "actually cook" or "actually sew," increasingly rare talents these days. :)
Singletude
I think there's a fine balance of what info we should put out there in cyber-land and what not too. It becomes more of an issue when we are actively engaged in trying to find a partner, as the nature of it is to attract interest with information.
I agree that keeping it real and truthful is the way to go because as you said, "Well, it never would have worked anyway."
I believe that there is more worry about gold diggers in the online dating community by males because aside from all the scams we read or hear about, it seems easier to scam online than in person.
Personally, I have always shared the household responsibilities with my partner. I'm not sure about being a traditionalist or not, but it just makes sense to build a relationship with equality. If my partner wants to have a career then that's great. If she wants to stay home and be a house wife taking care of all that that entails, that's great too. It has to be able to work off course for both parties, but with a give and take relationship built on communication and respect, there shouldn't be too many problems that can't be worked out.
Keeping it real is the right thing I believe and only each one of us know what that actually is. Likewise, being too real is something only we can know for ourselves and adjust as needed.
Good luck and keep on keeping on ;)
Keeping being you, girl. I think its fabulous. And I think your last blog was heartfelt and real.
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