Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentines Day: The Takeover

It's that time again: Valentine's Day. It's tough being single on Valentine's Day. The world seems to be all happy and coupled up. There are obnoxiously ginormous balloons and flower bouquets everywhere but at your doorstep or office cubicle. That's tough. It's similar to the feeling when you are the last picked for the pick-up volleyball game in gym class, except 1000 times worse. It feels like you are the last picked in life. Ouch! There's an overwhelming sense of dread many people feel around this day.

Hallmark's version of Valentine's Day is an unattainable illusion for most people. It's a stressful day for lots of people in relationships, not just the singles. Men have all this pressure to buy the right gift and to make the right romantic gesture. Women have to pretend to like that awful gift her dunderheaded guy just gave her. "Oooh, uncomfortable lingerie that's too sizes too small and implies that you expect sexual favors. Just what I wanted!"

According to a recent story on CNN, 40 million Americans have what experts call a sexless marriage (having sex less than 10 times a year). DAMN! The next time you are depressed about being single, be grateful that you aren't in a sexless marriage. Just think 40 million married people would probably love to trade places with you. Single and a little lonely beats married, miserable and sexually frustrated!

I will embrace Valentine's Day, but only on my terms. I took the day off work. I'm going to spend the day as I please and top it off with a yummy red velvet cupcake. My Valentine's Day will be a day that I show myself how much I care about me instead of wishing I had someone else to show me a good time. Sometimes when you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!

I hope you can reclaim Valentine's Day as a time to lavish love on the most important person in your life - YOU!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Who's your crush?

Growing up in the 80's & early 90's, I had crushes on the usual heart-throbs of the day. I used to "heart" Cocktail- era Tom Cruise, and 21 Jump Street-era Johnny Depp. I slept under a giant poster of a shirtless Jordan Knight of New Kids on the Block fame.

During the college years I had an inexplicable attraction to Ricky Martin. Gee that one Grammy performance really did change America! It certainly changed my dating preferences. I've been a sucker for Latin lovahs ever since.

For the past few years I've had a rather obscure crush. He's no traditional movie or tv heart-throb. He's not a Latin lover. Although he is a TV star, few people have bothered to look at him.

It's Seth MacFarlane. He's the creator and voice actor behind Family Guy. I IMDB'd the show to check out who was doing the voices. I was slack-jawed when I saw his picture.

He is just so adorable in an approachable real guy kind of way.
Of course he's surrounded by Hollywood fembots now, so approachable real guy is probably dead now.

But a girl can dream. And I certainly do.
Please leave a comment about your crush- obscure or otherwise.

Monday, February 4, 2008

My take on the big game

I'm a football fan. I look forward to the NFL season evey year. The Super Bowl is always a bit bitter sweet. It's the big game but it's also the end of the season. No more football. ~sniffle, sniffle~ Luckily the preseason starts earlier and earlier every year.
Anywho here's a few of my thoughts on the spectacle that was SuperBowl XLII.

1. Did anyone notice that the pregrame was an hour longer than the actual game? That's just the official pregame. I'm not even counting the specials that were aired before the pregame. At least all that build up and hype did lead to one of the best games ever.

2. Why is Ryan Seacrest omnipresent? It's bad enough he's on American Idol umpteen times a week. He's on E network. He's the New Year's Eve guy now. He's on the radio. Why in the name of all that is good and sacred is he at my Super Bowl? Can't I have one precious thing that is safe from his vile clutches? I can't stand that hideously smug grin on his face. I just want to slap it off.

3. Girl crush alert 1#
Alicia Keys was killin her pre-game performance. It was awesome. She used to be stuck behind that piano, but now she's out front with dancers too. She's upped her showmanship. She was looking pretty damn fierce. Gentlemen, you had to appreciate the girl's classy but very snug ensemble. She was very sexy without even showing skin (Hear that Star-tittie Janet!)

4. The Declaration of Independence portion of the pregame. (I really want to cuss Fox the eff out for this BS. But I'm tying to keep the blog clean.) WTF! Fox can we stop the GD right wing propaganda machine for one GD day so we can just watch some GD football for eff sakes! Now I have to add to my political causes the separation of football and state.

5. Girl crush alert #2
I want to be Pam Oliver. I want to be that fine and still be able to hold my own with the serious football talk. She's so cool I googled her so I could find out more about her. That's what led to the bombshell of the night. Do you know that Pam Oliver is 47 freaking years old! Daaaaamn. What virgin blood is she drinking to keep her so young and fabulous? I know black don't crack, but either Pam is using some supernatural forces or she has that serious Oprah make up. Anybody have HD? Does Pam look all tore up in HD? Is she really human after all?

6. What a game! I wanted the Patriots to win. I just like the team. I like Tom Brady. I wanted Junior Seau to finally win one. No, they didn't go 19-0. But they were still a great team. They are great in the clutch. I dare you to to tell me that after that final Giants TD you didn't think the Pats would somehow come back to to tie it up. They've done it time after time. But it wasn't meant to be. The Giants were so hungry, so fearless. They had nothing to lose and they played like it. The Patriots had everything to lose and you could tell they felt the pressure. What a game! What a season!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Something more

Lately I can't get this song out of my head. The chorus repeats " I just want it to be over. I just want it to be over." This song plays in my mind nearly all day at work.

I'm not in my ideal job, quite far from it, actually. In truth, I am doing what I never wanted to do. When I was a little girl I occaisionally went to work with my mom. Her dream was to be an executive secretary to the chief executive of an organization. She is very proud that she achieved her dream. I'm very proud of her too. I wish I could achieve mine.

I saw her buzzing all over the building from person to person and office to office. She was living her dream. I was very, very, bored. I never wanted to work in an office. I never wanted to be in the same place doing the same thing with the same people day after day, year after year. Pushing paper around, answering phones, attending meetings, repeating the same procedures over and over was the last thing I wanted to do. Okay, anything involving math and science and blood & guts was the very last thing I wanted to do. But coming in a very close "next to last" was working in such an office job.

Cut to me now, almost 30 years old. I am doing what I never wanted to do. I am an office drone. I have been for almost 7 years. For 7 years of precious life, I have been doing work that I never wanted to do. Ever. How can this be?

When I graduated college in 2000, it be came clear that my mother and I couldn't live together as 2 independent, stubborn adults. So I had to go on my own and support myself. Thus started the compromises. I took a crappy telemarketing job to keep a roof over my head. When I couldn't take that toxic work environment I abruptly quit. Then I found a job where I currently work. It was only supposed to be a brief stepping stone. It was a way to keep my apartment and save for a car so I could moonlight in tv production jobs. That's just what I did.

Unfortunately, 2 financially and emotionally devistating back to back car accidents threw me off course. I've yet to recover financially and I have abandoned the tv prodction career. There was a mourning period I had to go through. I had everything invested in that career. God revealed to me that that it just wasn't going to work out. Unfortunately He hasn't yet revealed what I am supposed to do instead. I have always known what I don't want to do for a living, but never had a crystal clear vision of what I absolutely do want to do.

I wake up every morning and thank God for blessing me to see that day. But then I go to work wishing for that day to be over. My mind is a juke box that plays Sugarland's "Something More" and "Settling"and Keyshia Cole's " I just want it to be over." I am developing an exit strategy. I'm still trying to dig out of this financial hole so I can get a vehicle again so I can attend grad school and have more career options.

Life is hard. For the past 4 years I haven't been living, just existing. So here I am. I feel it's the end of the line at my job. I have to constantly motivate myself to "just make it out the door this morning. Then "just make it to lunch." Then "just make it to 5 o'clock, you're almost home." On Monday morning, I'm counting down to Friday evening. This is no way to live!

Unfullilled potential catches up with you after a while. It becomes a burden. There was much expected of me throughout my childhood. I overcame some personal and family challenges to make it through school and on to college. I remember the day I left for college. I was so excited and hopeful. I was squeezed in the back of our raggedy old Volvo packed full of my stuff. I had my walkman playing Republica's "Ready to Go". I was ready to take on new challenges. I was confident that I would succeed. Sometimes I think I can hear my 18 year old self pleading "What are you doing? We hate this. You are supposed to be more than this!"

I can't let life's challenges beat me into submission. I can't just curl up into a corner and wait for it all to be over. I owe it to that 18 year old to fight my way out of this. I can. I will. It begins now.